It's been a long time and I've made a decision.I've been through a terrible ordeal since I last had you in my possession and now that I've found my feet again I've decided that I must make the murderer of my father, and the mother that I want, pay. They're both dead, or so I've heard, and there hasn't been any rumor to prove otherwise.I'm angry. How dare he rob me of my childhood? Imri, I'll have him dead before he knows it. Six years old? He'll under estimate me, and if he doesn't, all the smarter for him but he cannot stop me, his head will be mine. My father.. my mother.. I am a Grey, and vengeance is in my blood, even if I am the last. I've lost my brother, Samael, and while I miss him terribly the priority of finding him has dropped so low on my list of things to do it isn't funny.I remember when Aunt Nadia and Razael told me. I was on a street in Paris looking for Kendrew, it was one of the many times he'd vanished for some reason or another, I cannot keep them all straight. People say he's special, that he can see the future. I know this. I also know he reads minds, but they aren't my secrets to tell, and so they'll stay here with me, in this. This little paper book that isn't to leave my side ever again with what I intend to tell it now.I had a tantrum. Of course I did, who wouldn't, at my age? The woman I want as my mother already missing or dead, my father off to find and avenge her, now gone? Aunt Nadia told me who it was of course and I've vowed death to the demon who robbed me of my family. I spent over a month at their home in Lima just sitting there, being forced to eat, to drink, to even go outside and interact with the peasant children she teaches. Eventually I started to find my feet, I heard about what happened between she and the demon at the farmhouse, I've been carefully biding my time. I've read, and researched alchemy, I know all about cloning from the future. That boy I mentioned before, Ikarus, he is apparently a master alchemist and I may enlist in his knowledge, whether he wants to or not, in order to do what I plan to do next...But I shall have my family returned to me even if I have to pick up the pieces by creating portals in to Hell to drag them back out myself. I've begun to create a lab in my bedroom at the warehouse in London recently, in daddy's office. I remember Lime promising me that one day we would go to Seattle together, and so I shall use it, because it has the picture in there. Sammy told me there was a park, where you could feed birds, and Lime says there are different kinds of gypsies. She said that if I were her daughter I'd be able to be a gypsy too. I want to be. More than anything. I want she and daddy to be married and I want to be a family, we can leave this awful place and go to Seattle together. We can live there, and we can be happy.I'll kill Imri, save my father, save Lime, and we'll be happily ever after like those ridiculous Faerie Stories Kendrew reads.
I believe my mother only slept with my father in order to conceive me.
When I did not turn out the way she'd hoped she left me.My father left me some time ago in order to find Lime, the so-called princess. My aunt tells me frequently he loves me, but I have to question what his actual motives are, with his constant abandonment of me. If he loved me wouldn't he take me with him? He left me alone and the house was burning.Lime saved me, she took me to the warehouse where Rowane found me. I miss Lime. I miss daddy.They told me once that I was a certified genius, I know this. Look at me, I'm six years old and write like I've been in literature my entire life. It isn't my fault, I don't want to be like this. I want to be normal, like my cousins, I want to go to school, I want to be innocent and without the knowledge of the world that I have, I want to be a little girl too. I don't want to feel as if I'm fifty trapped in the body of a child, forever. I haven't grown since I was three, it's a terrible fate. I look like a toddler and yet my years continue to pass on.Have I turned in to my father? I'm terrified. And he isn't here to ask the questions I need answered.I want Lime. She doesn't want me, only a fool would see otherwise, but I want her. She's the mother I desperately needed when my own abandoned me for a man who couldn't stand me, because I was my father's offspring. It isn't my fault. I'm not in control of my genetics, if she weren't a sleezy whore I'd never even have come in to existence, of this I am sure. My very life has been a curse from the beginning.I am, as my father so "lovingly" calls me, daddy's little disease.And yet, even as I sit here wishing I were like other children I hate them. They're stupid, and not a single one of them seems to have a proper head on their shoulders. Look at all of them, running about like a bunch of fools, pretending to be unwise. We're born with all the knowledge we need, we simply have to work our best as we grow not to lose it all before we've the ability to remember it. Me? I was born gifted, moreso than that little weasel Ikarus who walks around boasting himself something special.I know what he is and who he is and one day he'll pay for it.With my father having left me, I think I shall strike out on my own as well. My Aunt Nadia is burdened enough with her problems, after all, the loss of her children and her ridiculous son, who hasn't a proper clue as to what he is either. I know. I seem to know a lot of things.Yes. I'll find my father, and make him keep me with him.